Top ten perks to being President of the AWNA

For the members who were unable to make Friday night’s AGM banquet, we absolutely must share Fred Gorman’s uproarious final remarks in his inaugural President’s Address.  The audience was in stitches.

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Now there is one last thing.  You may not know it and may want to consider if if you want to run for this office in the future.  Frankly, there are many perks that come with the job. I have my list right here in my hot little hands, my top ten perks of being AWNA President.

Top ten perks to being President of the AWNA

10. I get to enjoy the AWNA volume discount at all Alberta liquor stores. Thank you, Dennis Merrell.

9.  AWNA staff to answer all phone calls (here, Chrissie Hamblin stands and recites…) “Welcome to the AWNA, home of such fine Black Press Newspapers as the Stettler Independent, Rimbey Review and Red Deer Express”

8.  A golf caddy on demand in any AWNA market.  Don’t worry Ossie, I am never golfing that stupid Drumheller course again.

7.  Government relations chair, Dave Bruha, will fix all of my speeding tickets. Dave, you may be going to jail but trust me it is for a noble cause.

6.  At any time I can have Roger Holmes recite the opening verse of The Cremation of Sam McGee  (here, Roger stands and recites the opening verse of The Cremation of Sam McGee)

5.  For marketing purposes, I can have Murray Elliot attend the Ponoka Stampede dressed in his spandex bike riding outfit.  George Brown, can you see the photo-op?

4. Since I am now president of two organizations, maybe I can get at least one shirt ironed at home??

3.  Led by George “Pigskin Pete” Brown, all board meetings will officially start with the Hamilton Tiger Cat fight cheer.  (here, George stands and recites…)  “Oskee wee wee! Oskee wa wa! Holy Mackinaw! AWNA, eat ’em raw!”

2.  I am not exactly sure, but I think I get to boss Duff Jamison around.

1.  As far as Black Press and David Black knows, I am away from the office on official AWNA business.  Ten weeks holidays, woohoo!